Biggest Derp Ever?

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Biggest Derp Ever?

Post by DSharrah on Sat Sep 07, 2013 3:18 pm

I have been thinking about Leviathans and the Leviathan DLC alot recently...and I wonder if we just maybe have been witness to the biggest derp in the ME Universe during this story...

To set the scence:


  • We play detective to find this giant space cuttlefish
  • Giant space cuttlefish tells us how it can control organics
  • But that these stupid organics keep creating synthetics that then destroy them
  • Giant space cuttlefish don't want to keep losing their thralls, so they call an emergency meeting...


Below is my interpertation of that meeting:

Big Boss Cuttlefish: We have gathered here today to discuss the crisis that faces the universe.  Our thralls, stupid, small organics, keep making these synthetics that kill them.  What should we do?

Other Cuttlefish:  Well, we could stop them from making synthetics we do have the ability to control them after all.

Big Boss Cuttlefish:  That would never work.  Its too simple.  And we would have to do so much damn work to make that happen.  I am too lazy to do that.  There has to be a better solution.  We need help.

Other Cuttlefish: But boss, the "Universe bends to our will."

Big Boss Cuttlefish: Don't quote me you big stupid jellyfish!  Didn't you hear me, were just simple organics. We need help!

Stupid Cuttlefish:  Uhhhhh, why don't we build a robot?

Other Cuttlefish:  Don't be stupid, we would just be repeating the mistake of our Thralls!

Big Boss Cuttlefish:  No...I think that he is onto something...besides, "The Universe bends to our will."  What could go wrong?

Other Cuttlefish:  Our synthetic could turn on us just like what happens to our thralls!?!

Big Boss Cuttlefish:  Impossible.  We are Leviathans...we are the apex of evolution.  We couldn't be stupid enough to repeat the same mistake.  Forget the fact that all of expierence shows us that when organics build synthetics, the synthetics turn on their creators...we will build this AI - and it will help us to find the solution!

And the rest is history...

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Re: Biggest Derp Ever?

Post by hukbum on Sat Sep 07, 2013 3:37 pm

Just leaving it here, something I wrote on BSN a while ago.

While traveling to the galaxy, trying to create a machine (noone knows what it really does) someone stumbled over a "Leviathan" theory. Noone knows what that is, what it does or what it might be good for. Enough evidence for Shepard to investigate as you can imagine. So let's find out what it is. What's new at this point: We find out what it is and what it does and ... no we really don't find out what it's good for.
But we learned something.
Living too long under water can really screw with your mind. Like suitlife, you know? But that's not as importand as that we learned who is responsible for the **** we're stuck in. The Apex Race. Fishy spider things full of awesome APEXNESS.

APEXNESS, the theory that can't be unproven or proven because it's based on APEX itself

Ok, we now know that the apex-guys created the catalyst and something went wrong. They didn't see it coming and blabla ... APEX-stuff. Not worth mentioning.
Why didn't they see it coming? Because there was this one guy among them they didn't like. Nobody talks to him and such because ... he was an idiot! Yes, even among a "we enslave people for fun"-APEX-race there are idiots. Worse, as they are apex, this was not just an idiot, it was an APEXIDIOT (or AI). The pinnacle of all idiots (no wonder noone wanted to talk to him ...).
Nothing wrong so far, it's ok, 'cause idiots are everywhere. But then someone started complaining. They where sitting arround there underwaterfire (apexguys can do that) talking all the apexthings they did all day and someone starts to complain: "Oh now my slaves are killing themselfs. They've created some robots and now they're fighting them and have no time to be my slaves anymore. I have to clean my house myself, CAN YOU BELIEF THAT?"
And there it all went wrong. Because the poor apexidiot was listening. And he/she/it thought "Hey if I can fix that problem, this one will be my buddy. We can go swimming and such and I wont be alone anymore."
So he came up with an idea ...
"I am an apexidiot, what do I do? HA! I'll create an AI to fix that. And I'll make it much more intelligent then I am. It will be awesome!"
So he went to his underwaterhouse, locked the door and wasn't seen for days/weeks/years. Nobody realized that he wasn't arround anymore, 'cause noone cared. Until the reaping begun ...

And now ask yourself: Why is Harby such a crappy shooter? Why does he leave before everyone's dead? Yes, your right, it's the APEXIDIOT, the first reaper ever. And - btw - he's quite happy, because now he has friends to talk to (about Shepard for example ^^). You wonna know, why the Catalyst doesn't make any sense? Simple, 0 multiplied by whatever is still 0. That's how the ApexIdiot tried to create something much more intelligent then he was. "Take my IQ and multiply it with the maximum APEX-Indicator for IQ!" (pretty high, don't know how high ...)

And yes, we can still learn something from ME3. Neverever leave idiots alone. Talk to them, play with them, do whatever must be done. But never ignore them. That's way to dangerous ...
Your post just reminded me of that Laughing

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Re: Biggest Derp Ever?

Post by DSharrah on Sat Sep 07, 2013 4:17 pm

@Hukbum - Exactly! Very Happy How else do you explain an "apex" race making such a stupid mistake?!?

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"Does that mean it will kill your smug ass too?"



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Re: Biggest Derp Ever?

Post by Eryri on Sat Sep 07, 2013 5:13 pm

Bioware seems to think the Leviathan's arrogance leading to the repetition of their thrall's mistakes would be an ironic twist, or a statement on hubris, or some pretentious crap like that.

Personally I just found it face-palmingly stupid.
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Re: Biggest Derp Ever?

Post by hukbum on Sat Sep 07, 2013 5:19 pm

Eryri wrote:Personally I just found it face-palmingly stupid.
Same here ... that's pretty much why I can't see this "galactic chess" between the them and the reapers some people where talking about.

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Re: Biggest Derp Ever?

Post by BlueLogic on Sun Sep 08, 2013 1:56 am

That's the way it is with hubris. From Proverbs: "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall".

Their pride blinded them. Even now, they won't admit it was a mistake. Many draw interesting conclusions regarding the leviathans and their continuing connection to the Reapers. I think pride is an adequate reason. I'd have preferred a hint of contrition in the Leviathans, but that's just me.

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Re: Biggest Derp Ever?

Post by TurianRebel212 on Sun Sep 08, 2013 2:46 am

I think cycles using the citadel and mass relays are pretty big derps. 


but yeah, Leviathan herpaderp hard.

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Re: Biggest Derp Ever?

Post by BansheeOwnage on Sat Sep 14, 2013 6:14 am

Eryri wrote:Bioware seems to think the Leviathan's arrogance leading to the repetition of their thrall's mistakes would be an ironic twist, or a statement on hubris, or some pretentious crap like that.  

Personally I just found it face-palmingly stupid.
That's not a bad storytelling device, in fact it was supposed to be the Reapers' downfall. But I agree that it was lame and backfired in the case of the Leviathans. They're like fail-reapers. Although in the very-much-contradictory-to-everything-else-we've-learned literal ending, the reapers are even lamer.

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Re: Biggest Derp Ever?

Post by dorktainian on Sat Sep 14, 2013 7:26 am

"The forces of darkness do not move openly. They work through others, use others. When the darkness was defeated long ago, they scattered, hid themselves away in secret places and waited. Now, the dark hand is reaching out and recalling them from their sleep." B5 (again)

leviathan is like so many other bioware stuff.  it leaves more questions than it answers.

in other news.. my second you tube vid. i tried to do a movie / flash / intense vid as like a mass effect movie trailer thingy. I kinda screwed up the dialogue - so ripped it out and just left the music - taken from 'man of steel' soundtrack... didn't quite work but hey.....


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