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Post by symbowles Thu Oct 02, 2014 1:46 pm

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Post by Rifneno Fri Oct 03, 2014 5:24 am

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And you know, I was never one for the "Triple buries everything" stuff.  I actually defended him a LOT in the past.  No more.  There's just no defense for this past year.

WWE Thread - Page 5 Cena-game-BIG-meme

Speaking of Cena, he and Ambrose are feuding now over who gets to feud with Rollins.  I don't think I've ever seen a feud over who gets to feud.  Even that silly shit at WMX didn't have a feud for a feud.  But anyway, Ambrose has spent his entire time in WWE in a stable that spends all of their time 3-on-1'ing people.  Now he's pissy because Cena wants part of Rollins too.  What?!  Dude, just shut up and share Rollins.  It's not like Trips is going to let Rollins fight alone anyway.

P.S. Brock Lesnar is an anagram for Born Slacker.
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Post by Rifneno Sat Oct 04, 2014 3:15 pm

Hahahaha holy shit, you guys. It's coming out now that Lesnar is not scheduled again until the Royal Rumble. The. Royal. Rumble. January 25, 2015. I just did a count. That's 126, one hundred and twenty six days between appearances/matches for the reigning champion.

Calling it now: the fans aren't going to stand for it. They're going to have to strip him of the title whether they like it or not. They're going to pretend that was always the plan and turn it into a positive by promoting Lesnar not just as having broken the streak but as having never lost the title.
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Post by symbowles Sat Oct 04, 2014 3:50 pm

Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm

If there's one thing that I can't stand more than wwe's decision making, it's the people who actually defend it. "It gives the title more prestige if it is only defended once in a while." No.

How can you go over three months without a champion? Not to mention there wasn't a decisive victory at noc. It is so backasswards it's ridiculous. David Arquette as champion >>>> Brock Lesnar as champion.
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Post by Rifneno Sat Oct 04, 2014 5:17 pm

symbowles wrote:Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm Picard Facepalm

If there's one thing that I can't stand more than wwe's decision making, it's the people who actually defend it. "It gives the title more prestige if it is only defended once in a while." No.

How can you go over three months without a champion? Not to mention there wasn't a decisive victory at noc. It is so backasswards it's ridiculous. David Arquette as champion >>>> Brock Lesnar as champion.

LOLwut. That's the retarded logic they're using to justify this nightmare? That's like saying the ebola crisis is good because more people are washing their hands. It isn't not being defended because that makes it more prestigious, it's not being defended because Brock Lesnar is lazier than Homer Simpson.

Agreed. Arquette had more love for the business in his pinky than Lesnar does in his entire steroid-ridden body.

They seem to forget, not everyone can or will use the network. Many people are still paying for pay-per-views. Probably still at the same absurd rate they were before the network. Who the hell is going to pay for a PPV with no championship match? You think we're going to shell out $40 for Cena/Ambrose vs. Rollins in a PG rated HIAC? Blow it out your ass, Vince.
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Post by symbowles Sun Oct 05, 2014 1:00 am

Rifneno wrote:LOLwut.  That's the retarded logic they're using to justify this nightmare?  That's like saying the ebola crisis is good because more people are washing their hands.  It isn't not being defended because that makes it more prestigious, it's not being defended because Brock Lesnar is lazier than Homer Simpson.

Yeah, I poke around some wrestling forums, and there are actually people who like this situation. They support having the title defended at only four pay-per-views and not having the championship be an everyday thing. It makes me sad that people can possibly be that stupid. But these are the people that allow the wwe to keep making these decisions.

There is NO excuse for not having a story line for your biggest title at all times. It's the top prize, you don't just win it and go home. Except now. Because Brock Lesnar. That's why.
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Post by symbowles Sun Oct 05, 2014 1:02 am

And as far as the ppv's go, I just find myself a decent stream online. I'll deal with some lag vs paying for this product right now.
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Post by symbowles Sun Oct 05, 2014 1:15 am

Has anyone gone to a live event before?
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Post by ElSuperGecko Mon Oct 06, 2014 10:05 pm

Yeah, several. No PPV's, but around half a dozen TV tapings and plenty of house shows.

You get MUCH more bang for your buck at house shows - similar 3 hour running time, but most of the time is given over to in-ring action instead of promos, intermissions etc. You get to see more of what the guys and girls can actually do.
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Post by Rifneno Tue Oct 07, 2014 11:48 am

symbowles wrote:Yeah, I poke around some wrestling forums, and there are actually people who like this situation. They support having the title defended at only four pay-per-views and not having the championship be an everyday thing. It makes me sad that people can possibly be that stupid. But these are the people that allow the wwe to keep making these decisions.

There is NO excuse for not having a story line for your biggest title at all times. It's the top prize, you don't just win it and go home. Except now. Because Brock Lesnar. That's why.

I can't think of any reply to this except to weep at the situation.

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symbowles wrote:And as far as the ppv's go, I just find myself a decent stream online. I'll deal with some lag vs paying for this product right now.

I'm not even watching it.  I haven't watched any wrestling since the RAW before Summerslam.  I was busy during Summerslam but I heard people talking about the Lesnar/Cena squash match and was just too disgusted to want to see any part of it.  Still am, and that goes for anything after too.

Honestly, I find it harder to get out of the habit of checking dirt sheets than I do of watching the actual product.

Speaking of which, United Airlines lost Ziggler's IC belt.  Thanks, Obama.

symbowles wrote:Has anyone gone to a live event before?

Lots of times, but it's been a looooong time.  10+ years probably.  When I think about it, I can't remember having ever seen John Cena live, so yeah, been a while.  I live in a city of about 200,000 so it's not very profitable to hold events here.  They still throw us a bone every few years, but it's been nothing but house shows for ages.  And I'm of the opposite opinion of Gecko: I don't even bother with house shows.  If there's no story progression, I'll pass.

There was one I'll never forget, where they were doing a taping for Superstars and such.  To give a timeframe, the Ultimate Warrior was champion.  Back then, non-PPV matches were all stars vs. a no-name jobber in a squash match.  Apparently they'd tape a huge shitload of these matches in one setting and then go for a couple months of shows with these tapings.  It was insane.  Every big name had, I don't know, 5 or more matches?  The show went on well into the early morning hours.
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Post by symbowles Tue Oct 07, 2014 1:37 pm

In true hypocritical fashion (after saying I wouldn't pay for ppv's) I just got tickets for Raw in December. I've NEVER been to an event before, so I'm quite excited for it.

And if you didn't watch Raw last night, there was a pretty cool and very surprising segment involving:

Spoiler:

I also like what they are doing with Ambrose. One of the few things they are doing right.

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Post by ElSuperGecko Tue Oct 07, 2014 4:05 pm

You'll enjoy it symbowles. Being part of atmosphere live is a completely different animal to watching at home.

I remember last November for one of the RAW tapings, back when Punk and Bryan were teaming against the Shield and the Wyatts. I saw a great live match where the Wyatts/Shield were beating down Punk and Bryan, but then got in each others way and started arguing. Rollins was being the peacemaker, Ambrose was being his usual insane self, Wyatt was egging him on. The crowd literally went berserk, begging them to fight, and we got a five minute brawl before the two groups eventually dragged each other apart.

Turns out all that took place during a commercial break on the live broadcast, and they showed the barest snippets of the brawl on the WWE app. OK, we saw the two groups go head to head later on, but it was an amazing moment, which a lot of the TV audience missed.
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Post by Rifneno Thu Oct 09, 2014 1:08 pm

symbowles wrote:In true hypocritical fashion (after saying I wouldn't pay for ppv's) I just got tickets for Raw in December. I've NEVER been to an event before, so I'm quite excited for it.

Congrats. No hypocrisy, live events are an entirely different thing from TV. Hope you enjoy it. Maybe you'll even see the WWE title (LOL!)

ElSuperGecko wrote:I remember last November for one of the RAW tapings, back when Punk and Bryan were teaming against the Shield and the Wyatts.  I saw a great live match where the Wyatts/Shield were beating down Punk and Bryan, but then got in each others way and started arguing.  Rollins was being the peacemaker, Ambrose was being his usual insane self, Wyatt was egging him on.  The crowd literally went berserk, begging them to fight, and we got a five minute brawl before the two groups eventually dragged each other apart.

Turns out all that took place during a commercial break on the live broadcast, and they showed the barest snippets of the brawl on the WWE app.  OK, we saw the two groups go head to head later on, but it was an amazing moment, which a lot of the TV audience missed.

I jelly. I remember seeing that show and being so anxious to see them lock up. Would've been great to see it that night.

Dirt Sheets wrote:Lesnar is not scheduled to make his return to WWE until January to begin promoting his Royal Rumble title defense, which is expected to be against John Cena.

It's been reported that Cena may face Rusev at WrestleMania 31 next year, so the belief is that if they wanted to, WWE could have Rusev cost Cena his match with Lesnar at the Rumble, setting up Cena-Rusev at WrestleMania.

So to sum up, after letting Lesnar sit on his lazy ass for 3+ months with the title, he's going to face the same guy he did last time and the match will have the same screwjob ending.

Vince McMahon, I hope your dick falls off.
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Post by Rifneno Thu Oct 09, 2014 1:14 pm

http://www.kayfabenews.com Funny site I just found. Check it out. My favorite article so far: Frustrated CM Punk “walks out” of six-month commitment to WWE Network
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Post by symbowles Fri Oct 10, 2014 4:53 pm

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Post by symbowles Mon Oct 13, 2014 6:57 pm

So this guy takes vids of people falling and inserts Randy Orton RKOing them.



There's a bunch. And I love them.
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Post by Rifneno Mon Oct 13, 2014 10:41 pm

KayfabeNews wrote:Professional wrestling personality Paul Heyman is currently in intensive care at Manhattan General Hospital after his client, Brock Lesnar, attempted to express his friendship with a unintentionally devastating hug.

Heyman has reportedly gained consciousness but is heavily sedated due to five broken ribs, a punctured lung, and the unanimous opinion of doctors and nurses that he needed to shut his big yap for a while.

“My client,” Heyman mumbled to family members gathered at his bedside, “Brrrrrock [coughing, sputtering] Lesnarrr [wheezing] conquered my pancreas.”

Lesnar, a semi-domesticated albino gorilla who currently holds the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, had intended to show appreciation for Heyman through a warm embrace — a human behaviour the creature intended to mimic.

But the muscular simian clearly does not know its own strength, and immediately grasped Heyman much too tightly. When Heyman began to scream and flail, the beast panicked and reflexively delivered 16 German suplexes to its terrified handler.

The creature seemed confused by the ordeal: “Did I pet Pauly too hard?” it asked, tears welling in its huge,  vacant eyes. “Did I do a bad thing?”

Though witnesses insist the attack was purely accidental, the ASPCA announced this morning that Lesnar may have to be euthanized.

WE HAVE A NEW WINNER.

"A semi-domesticated albino gorilla", like Heyman, I cannot breathe right now.
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Post by symbowles Tue Oct 14, 2014 1:58 pm

KayfabeNews wrote:Professional wrestling personality Paul Heyman is currently in intensive care at Manhattan General Hospital after his client, Brock Lesnar, attempted to express his friendship with a unintentionally devastating hug.

Heyman has reportedly gained consciousness but is heavily sedated due to five broken ribs, a punctured lung, and the unanimous opinion of doctors and nurses that he needed to shut his big yap for a while.

“My client,” Heyman mumbled to family members gathered at his bedside, “Brrrrrock [coughing, sputtering] Lesnarrr [wheezing] conquered my pancreas.”

Lesnar, a semi-domesticated albino gorilla who currently holds the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, had intended to show appreciation for Heyman through a warm embrace — a human behaviour the creature intended to mimic.

But the muscular simian clearly does not know its own strength, and immediately grasped Heyman much too tightly. When Heyman began to scream and flail, the beast panicked and reflexively delivered 16 German suplexes to its terrified handler.

The creature seemed confused by the ordeal: “Did I pet Pauly too hard?” it asked, tears welling in its huge,  vacant eyes. “Did I do a bad thing?”

Though witnesses insist the attack was purely accidental, the ASPCA announced this morning that Lesnar may have to be euthanized.

A toast.
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Post by symbowles Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:26 am

From 2013:

KayfabeNews wrote:Steel cage reminds Lesnar of his zoo habitat

Brock Lesnar feels at home in a steel cage, having become accustomed to life in captivity.

Doing battle inside a steel cage at tonight’s Extreme Rule’s pay-per-view will be second nature to Brock Lesnar, since the structure reminds him of the habitat at the Minneapolis Zoo where he spends most of his time.

“The big fella feels comfortable in there,” says Paul Heyman, handler of the 300-pound albino gorilla.

Lesnar is expected to dominate opponent Triple H in the steel cage match at tonight’s WWE event, since Lesnar considers himself the dominant alpha male in his zoo enclosure.

Earlier today, Lesnar urinated in all four corners of the steel cage to mark his territory, and several-dozen bananas were stowed beneath the ring.

Primate experts say Triple H should approach with caution, avoid prolonged eye contact with the primate and take a submissive stance before shooting the beast with a tranquilizer dart.

Lesnar is expected to return to the zoo tomorrow, to continue mating efforts with a female named Sable.
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Post by Rifneno Mon Oct 20, 2014 6:43 pm

http://www.sescoops.com/brock-lesnar-worst-title-reign-ever/

I love it.  Especially the comments from the retards blaming Cena for it.  "Thanks, Cena." would be the IWC's "Thanks, Obama" if more than 20 members weren't missing too many chromosomes to figure out why it should be sarcastic.

But I digress.  I think Lesnar's reign is actually worse than David Arquette's WCW reign.  Arquette's reign actually made sense storywise - a rarity in WCW - and it was over in little more than a week.  We're having to endure Lesnar's reign, if WWE's plans go unchanged, for half a goddamn year.  And it completely flies in the face of the 30 day rule that WWE has enforced since at least the 80's and actively vacated a title this very year.
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Post by Rifneno Mon Oct 27, 2014 3:08 pm

"So to sum up, after letting Lesnar sit on his lazy ass for 3+ months with the title, he's going to face the same guy he did last time and the match will have the same screwjob ending."

What do you know.  The same guy just won a Number One Contender match.  Looking like this was right on target.

Oh yeah, and people going on about how much it means that Lesnar was a UFC champion and how it brings "legitimacy" to WWE.  Did anyone hear the word "legitimacy" when Ken Shamrock was around?  I sure as hell didn't.  It's just as an excuse for giving Lesnar his special snowflake treatment.  Speaking of which, Shamrock publicly expressed interest in coming back to WWE within the past couple years.  WWE is apparently not interested in having him return.  So much for the legitimacy of that legitimacy bullshit.


Shamrock > Lesnar BTW.
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Post by Rifneno Tue Oct 28, 2014 12:59 am

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Post by ElSuperGecko Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:10 pm

One day after Wrestlemania, damn I thought the WWE's future was bright. An amazing marque event, some incredible talent signed, thingslooked so rosy.

6 months later, man oh man.

I think the only good things about the product at the moment are Ambrose and Rollins. The main event scene is a shambles, and themidcard isa joke. Hell, they're even managingto fuck NXT up with some poor booking decisions.

Elsewhere, TNA are doing series two of British Boot Camp. Its actually pretty entertaining watching guys from my area get pissed on by Al Snow.
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Post by symbowles Tue Nov 04, 2014 5:12 pm

Rusev beats Sheamus for the US title and it isn't even on cable.

So, we have a world champ that never shows up and title changes happening on the network. Sigh.
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Post by Rifneno Tue Nov 04, 2014 5:37 pm

symbowles wrote:Rusev beats Sheamus for the US title and it isn't even on cable.

So, we have a world champ that never shows up and title changes happening on the network. Sigh.
I read somewhere that at the last PPV they actively insulted PPV buyers for not using the network.

Wow.
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