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Post by Rifneno on Fri Apr 18, 2014 8:20 pm

I think this game needs its own thread, if only so we have a central place to make fun of this gaming Chernobyl.  It has been a source of limitless laughs with how it has managed to fail in every way you can conceive and then some.

Sure, they told us that all other TES games are now non-canon and they made multitudes of horrible decisions in everything from design to marketing.  But today, they outdid themselves.  After ignoring multitudes of warnings about a gamebreaking dupe bug in beta, it went nuclear today.  People are running around with billions (that's billions with a b, not millions) of gold and legendary tradeskill crafted gear is as common as dirt.  The economy and tradeskills are in irreparable shambles.  There is no possible course of action to fix the game that doesn't involve completely screwing over countless legit players.  Zenimax is completely fucked and they have no one to blame but themselves.

Elder Scrolls Online J1hlYbC (Thanks to Nor for helping make this beautiful idea come to life)

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Post by Norlond on Fri Apr 18, 2014 8:34 pm

We all know the classics by now I guess :D

1:
Elder Scrolls Online X7KGqre
2:
Elder Scrolls Online YHIFMd5
3:
Elder Scrolls Online NkMbOGi
4:
Elder Scrolls Online T6IcG2k
5:
Elder Scrolls Online 4fbiezc

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Post by RavenEyry on Fri Apr 18, 2014 10:41 pm

Due to a zero tolerance policy on cheating, hundreds of players have been banned. Due to incompetence, many of them never used the duplication bug.
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Post by Byne on Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:39 am

I've honestly never wanted a game to fail as much as I want TESO to fail.

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Post by DSharrah on Sat Apr 19, 2014 3:18 pm

Some games should just remain in the world of Single player RPG...

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Post by RavenEyry on Sat Apr 19, 2014 6:59 pm

Here's why they're so quick to ban: it's extremely hard to cancel your subscription while banned, so they still get money from people who can't be bothered to spend hours on the phone with customer service.
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Post by Byne on Sat Apr 19, 2014 7:42 pm

Elder Scrolls Online PU5KfV3

This is great. Schadenfreude ftw.

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Post by Rifneno on Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:49 pm

"I paid for 6 months and I can't do anything because of a bug blocking my progress."
"Just cancel your account."

JEEEEESUS, Zenimax.  If I wrote a comical story about you guys totally failing this game a month ago, what my imagination could conjure wouldn't be half as devastating as how bad you truly are failing.  My fucking GOD.

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Post by Rifneno on Sun Apr 20, 2014 2:29 am

Just when you think it can't get any worse...

A second item dupe bug pops its head out of the woodwork.

Yes.  This game didn't launch with the single most catastrophic bug an MMO can have, it launched with two of them.  That we know of.

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Post by RavenEyry on Sun Apr 20, 2014 9:05 pm

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Post by Maximus on Sun Apr 20, 2014 9:43 pm

Wipe inc, this is the only way...
Better now than never...

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Post by Rifneno on Mon Apr 21, 2014 1:21 am

He's right.  People don't understand how bad this is.  Item dupe bugs are their own "holy shit" tier of severity.  Let me tell you guys a little story from back in my EQ days.  We never had a true item dupe bug, but at one point a vendor from the testing server accidentally got sent to live for 20 minutes.  He was selling all the rarest tradeskill materials for free.  Compared to what Zenimax has here, it's nothing, but 6 or 7 years later it's still infamous as one of the biggest fuckups Sony ever pulled on the game.  They quickly decided the only way to handle it was to roll back anyone who used the vendor to their status before the patch that sent the vendor live... and anyone they traded with.  And anyone they traded with.  And so on.  It was like an epidemic.  If you had any financial contact with anyone who had contact with the vendor, no matter how distant, you were to be rolled back.  It was a grueling process that had to be done manually rather than by shitty scripts like Zenimax is trying (and failing, miserably) to do, and it took about 2 weeks before all the rollbacks were handed out.
People knew on day one: if you traded with anyone, there was a good probability anything you were going to do in the next week or two would be lost.  People knew it going in.  I believe this happened during Dragons of Norrath, the game's 9th expansion, so the game was very well set.  People had spent years on their characters.  And you would not believe how many of them abandoned those characters after losing a week or two of progress that they knew to begin with was risky.  It was the second largest population drop the game ever had, second only to the release of World of Warcraft.  To this day people talk about it as the MMO equivalent of a terrorist attack.

EQ had a way to save their economy from that incident.  Zenimax has no way to salvage their economy from this.  It simply cannot be done.  They have to start fresh, whether it be a full server wipe or introducing a new type of currency that makes gold obsolete and pointless or whatever.  Now here's the thing.  If so many people readily abandoned characters they worked on for YEARS because of rollbacks they knew were coming and over an understandable and quickly remedied mistake on the developer's part... how many do you think are going to stick around for their 3 week old characters after Zenimax "fixes" this?

Yeah.

Goodnight, ESO.

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Post by RavenEyry on Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:16 am

They'll still get some money even if everyone quits because you have to set up a subscription before playing the free trial, and it takes 30 days to cancel a subscription. Ayup.
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Post by Dwailing on Mon Apr 21, 2014 4:19 pm

RavenEyry wrote:They'll still get some money even if everyone quits because you have to set up a subscription before playing the free trial, and it takes 30 days to cancel a subscription. Ayup.

Wow, Zenimax is really sucking anus with this one, isn't it?  It isn't often that I want to see a game fail, but this is just ridiculous.  Smash the system!  Bring this abomination down!

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Post by lex0r on Mon Apr 21, 2014 4:50 pm

Elder Scrolls Online 1168

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Post by Maximus on Mon Apr 21, 2014 6:28 pm

Dwailing wrote: Smash the system!  Bring this abomination down!
K!
Elder Scrolls Online Fuck-the-system_o_2000495

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Post by RavenEyry on Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:08 pm

Elder Scrolls Online BannedForJokes_zps570773ca

Zenimax is making moves to silence any negativity it seems
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Post by lex0r on Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:31 pm

RavenEyry wrote: Elder Scrolls Online BannedForJokes_zps570773ca

Zenimax is making moves to silence any negativity it seems

Elder Scrolls Online So-It-Begins

Elder Scrolls Online Queen-so-it-begins

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Post by Jusseb on Tue Apr 22, 2014 2:10 pm

I was always hoping this game would fail. Reading the reviews, all the problems and monthly fee that is charged for such an 'bug' filled game. I know it will.
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Post by Eryri on Tue Apr 22, 2014 5:55 pm

I've only watched half of his review but so far Angry Joe has comprehensively shat on this thing from the stratosphere.



Edit- after all that ranting he actually gave it a 5/10. Still that's pretty damning for something that costs $15 a month.
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Post by RavenEyry on Wed Apr 23, 2014 1:40 pm

http://www.metacritic.com/user/SteinOnkel

What's this, a metacritic user who has only ever written one review? Giving TESO a ten? In a review that's written like an advert?

Seems legit.
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Post by Rifneno on Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:43 pm

Elder Scrolls Online 1398236098309

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Post by Dwailing on Wed Apr 23, 2014 9:03 pm

So, TESO sucks, Zenimax sucks, but at least one good thing came out of this: 


At least the music is good.

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Post by Rifneno on Wed Apr 23, 2014 9:13 pm

Opps.  Apparently that was TOR rather than ESO.  Someone posted it on an ESO thread, so I just assumed it was that even though there was also a discussion going on about how ESO compares to TOR in being a colossal failure.

Still, it's amusing to see so I'll leave the post.

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Post by Dwailing on Wed Apr 23, 2014 10:44 pm

Rifneno wrote:Opps.  Apparently that was TOR rather than ESO.  Someone posted it on an ESO thread, so I just assumed it was that even though there was also a discussion going on about how ESO compares to TOR in being a colossal failure.

Still, it's amusing to see so I'll leave the post.

Hm, here are some actual statements from one of the devs: http://www.pcgamer.com/2014/04/23/elder-scrolls-online-game-address/  I think my Ah, yes... favorite Ah, yes... is when he said that the duping bug hadn't affected the economy.

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