THe Citadel DLC Joke Archive, for when we are feeling down and need something to cheer us up, or something.

So let's get this started, let's try to list them chronologically, every time someone adds a joke I'll put it in this top post where it would fit.

Wrex:"Then how come everyone's always shooting at us?"
Tali:"I think it's mostly you Wrex. The bigger the target, the bigger...uh, target."
Wrex:"You're saying I gained weight?"
Liara:"It just means there's more of the legend to love"
Tali:Nods in agreement
Wrex: Growls

"He said, "I should go" do I sound like that?" -S
"As long as I known you, yeah" -W
"How come no one has told me this before, Im open to feedback here"-S
or Rene
"I say better things than that, sometimes I switch it up and say I have to go, or I need too leave now. Or I'll talk too you later, but never do, you got to leave them wanting something."

"Haha! I have always wanted to do this!" - Wrex
"You have always wanted to have a firefight in my CIC!?" - Shepard
"And it is not even my birthday!" - Wrex

"I always wondered what these supports were for."-James
"I'm sure it's exactly what the designers had in mind!"-Shepard

"Remove these items for immediate disposal, oh come on!"-Shepard
"He touched my hamster guys now this is personal, wait what about my fish, he better not touch my fish!"-Shepard
"I guess it's not important right now, but you guys don't understand. Just hold tight little guy"-Shepard

"Well that's kind of creepy"-Shepard

"I'm sorry we didn't shoot her"-Garrus

"Don't tell him he won't understand"-Zaeed
"tell me what?"-Shep "Well...."-Garrus "Now you're in for it"-Zaeed
"One man's glass fixture is another's explosive glass fixture."-Garrus

"Some neighbors came by last night to complain about the noise. I put their bodies in the building incinerator.That was a joke".-EDI

Do we post links to youtube or do we quote it?

Quotes, except for those so awesome you must hear them spoken.

Shepard and Wrex taking back the Normandy:

"Haha! I have always wanted to do this!" - Wrex
"You have always wanted to have a firefight in my CIC!?" - Shepard
"And it is not even my birthday!" - Wrex

Ill quote from a youtube video then.

After party.
"Some neighbors came by last night to complain about the noise. I put their bodies in the building incinerator.That was a joke".-EDI

Locked in the cage thing:
"He said, "I should go" do I sound like that?" -S
"As long as I known you, yeah" -W
"How come no one has told me this before, Im open to feedback here"-S

Im not even going to try and quote this but when Tali pretends to be the ship.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FN-Ugs0SDVM

Wrex:"Then how come everyone's always shooting at us?"
Tali:"I think it's mostly you Wrex. The bigger the target, the bigger...uh, target."
Wrex:"You're saying I gained weight?"
Liara:"It just means there's more of the legend to love"
Tali:Nods in agreement
Wrex: Growls

Finally found something from Mordin and it is awesome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXQ6RkRh08Y

Shepard towards Ashley:"Know any poems about crying like a little girl?"

"Some neighbors came by last night to complain about the noise. I put their bodies in the building incinerator.That was a joke".-EDI

uh EDI did not say "that was a joke" on my playthrough.

Prettz wrote:"Some neighbors came by last night to complain about the noise. I put their bodies in the building incinerator.That was a joke".-EDI

uh EDI did not say "that was a joke" on my playthrough.

You have to talk to her a second time for the "that was a joke."

Grunt: "I'm sad hanars can't wear sweaters ..."

"They've got a Prothean over there!" -Unknown solider
"And that's a future corpse over there!" -Javik

"Uncle Urdnot is back, and he's bringing the boom!"-Wrex
"What is that some sort of catchphrase?"-Tali
"Try again."-Shepard

"It appears this drone is preparing to rebel" gets me everytime.

"Shepard, your clone as entered the ship and is attempting to....."
"Crap"
"IM OK!"
"Really?"